lawls

I can’t remember my first thought.
I wish I could.
I can’t.
But I write down my thoughts. Some of them. And that is why I remember what I was thinking when I thought about law. My mature and well articulated thoughts followed this general pattern:
Bleg! Law! Bleg! Barfbarfbarf.

Bleg.


Bleg.

And the universe agreed with me. I know because while I was running my eyes back and forth across the meaningless drivel lawyers like to call writing, the computer at the library I was using froze. Three times. I’ve never had one of those computers freeze on me. But I wasn’t even mad. I sort of liked the break. In fact, one of those times I may have convinced myself it was frozen when it wasn’t. Plus, I mean, if I was a computer, I would have frozen too. Having to have that latin encrusted nonsense on me. Gross. Why use latin when there are perfectly good English words? You silly lawyer types.

And, along with me, nearly everyone in the class sat waiting for our professor, discussing (complaining about) how difficult the reading was to understand. Patrick, our token gay guy, said “yeah, but have you seen him?”

When he walked in I understood. Every persons eyes in the class did that buggy thing on cartoons and I’m pretty sure somewhere a boat was going AUGA OW OW. Anyway, he’s a total cutie and a really incredible teacher. Turns out also that I really love international law. Like really. I’m even considering going to law school, but the thing is I don’t really like reading law commentary and I’m pretty sure I would hate torts and contract law and I’m not all that fond of lawyers (with the total exception of Hoodie who is a heckuva guy and my hottie greek law professor and from stories I hear my grandpa was a swell so I will include him on my list of lawyers I like) because they tend to argue over stupid things but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with insecurity and the need to hear themselves talk (says the blogger). So maybe law school isn’t the best option. Yet.
and in memory of my classes being over, I have decided to enlighten you all with some quotes from my professor:

So on the first day our professor was explaining something and one of my classmates started arguing with him and he basically was like…um, you are wrong. So she said, “well, I have been educated.” (which, incidentally, I like to think is the British version of me saying “I got schooled.”)
He nodded sadly and said “You grow old being educated.”

In response to some idealists in my class who got upset at the unfairness of some laws:
“It is a structure created by elites to keep elites in power. It is not a force for good. It is not a force for human rights. It is not a force for anything other than it is a force. I say this and people get shocked, as if I said ‘There may be drugs in the fashion world.’”

“States are legal fictions. We anthropomorphize them, but they don’t exist. They can’t do anything. I can lift a chair. France cannot lift a chair. It’s amazing what they can’t do.”

“Lawyers love latin, for reasons that remain unclear.”

Unrelated to law, but a funny statement nonetheless (to me)- someone walked in late and there were no seats left:
“You can take my chair. It’s ok. I sit on desks.”

Also, on the first day of class:
“My name is Antonios. My last name is very long and very Greek. You will not be required to say it, but at some point you may have the misfortune of having to write it. And for that I am sorry.”

And not one of Professor Antonios, but Judge Bruno Simma in a speech I went to:
“States protecting human rights is a little like foxes guarding the rights of chickens.”


tl;dr version: I write direct quotes that people say at the top of my notes in classes I like. In other classes, I draw pictures.